Well. These past few days have been ridiculous. In both good and bad ways. It was SO great to be back in Boone with some old friends and in great weather but it was also wonderful to come back to my kids. I have def had a lot of time to think over some stuff and I think I definitely want to become the teacher I once was. As pathetic as that sounds. It was such a breath of fresh air to talk to other student teachers who are feeling as ridiculous as I am. Thank you Boone for that mini-inspiration trip. Now I must create my own Improvement/Growth Plan, plan out some Smart Goals and create artifacts. I need to make new lists! I need to eat healthy. I need to work at my new personal goals. I need to keep running! I'm sorry that my posts are becoming smaller and smaller but I would much rather write this much than nothing at all. TGIF. Promise to reflect a lot more regularly and in more detail. The picture at the top was from Melanie's in Boone with my regulars-Justine and Cassie. The fruit bowl I usually buy. Encased with the richest, organic, yummies and refreshing fruits/foods. Idk why, but this fruit bowl was so beautiful in many ways. Symbolically and biologically...perfect representation of the last few days/days to come...
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Why yes, I am still alive. These past few 4 weeks have been incredibly ridiculous to say the least. I've had moments where I just want to quit teaching and there are days where I couldn't see myself doing anything else. I have learned to cherish the ground that weekends walk on and hate my body for not letting me sleep past 7:30 am most days. I am not the biggest fan of waking up while it's still dark, but this experience has been so humbling and a huge reality check which I was definitely in great need of. My classes and classmates at App where amazing. As close to perfect as they could have gotten; That perfection of comfort is really what I'm missing at this point. . It's so weird for me to get used to this journey. However, at the end of it all I think all this doubt and fear will make me a better teacher. I've learned that during the past few years I've been learning and getting better at being around others and making things work as a team. Ironically enough, a lot of what I'm doing makes me face these challenges alone. This isn't to say that my family and friends have not been there for me.I am so grateful to have so many friends that have been there for me through this entire experience. I don't know what I'd do without Cassie, Stacey, Katie, Corey, Kathryn and Brittany. Honestly, they have been my lifelines at certain times. My students are amazing and so is productivity. While I was having coffee with Kathryn this morning, we talked about how weird it is to go into the "real world"- whatever the fuck that means- and how uncertain it is. I saw Laura this weekend and that was really nice. It's nice to think that a lot of us are going through tough times right now but we still have each other even if it's at a distance. I will be going to Boone Tuesday afternoon to spend the night and then attend a seminar. I am so excited to do so, but I also know that it will make me so tired. I totally can't wait to see some people. Even though, I know I am going to miss my kids. I saw Cassidi at Chick-fil-a Saturday morning and it was so nice to say that I saw one of my kids outside of school. . I am actually about to head to church and I still have about a million things I could blog about but right now, I think this is all I can do. Promise to blog more frequently. PS: I have a new mission and motivation. Details to follow...
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
