napolean and appendicitis. (fake, appendicitis)

Well hot damn. This week has been iinnnnsaaannneee. Nevertheless, the weekend was amazing.

Friday I didn't do much. Yesterday I hung out with Christine literally ALL day. It was fantastic. We pulled off some of the craziness that I never thought would be possible. We are hilarious. Not only did we have smoothies, nasty unhealthy food, got molested and got in some trouble but actually worked a bit at at the 'mars too. I forgot how awesome we are.
Don't worry, America, we got new shirts at Showmars and they actually look nice! ( I miss how tan we were here) Oh, and this is definitely our friendship in a nutshell.Today, I got to hang out with one of the coolest people on the face of the Earth. I was so excited yesterday when she texted me and said she would come home today just cause. I am so glad she did that. Not only did we have our usual lunch at Newks but we also got that much needed time to be. I got the 1st season of Grey's from Blockbuster since it's closing (so go buy stuff! it's cheap!) and about 30ish books from the Browns. Libby was going to donate all these books to Goodwill when Kathryn decided it would be better to donate them to the classroom that I one day will have! I love them. I also swam for a full like 30 minutes at the Y today and let me just tell you how much it sucked. I forgot how much of a workout swimming was.

After this week of inconsistencies, lack of motivation and fun....well this weekend pulled me right out of there. The more I hung out with Christine and Kathryn the more I realized that what I needed was to just be with my friends. Despite the fact that Kathryn had been texting me non-stop as well as Corey from Boone, I just need that time to physically hang out. For them to give me huge hugs and make me laugh because they know I am awesome at rapping and being a smartass. This is why I am going to try to go to Boone this weekend.

THANKS COREY!! :)

I don't know what would have happened without Christine and Kathryn this weekend but I know that my spirits are definitely higher. Thank you, guys. Here's to a new week that will be the last full one of January. I love inspiration.

PS: I AM ALMOST DONE WITH 'ARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!!

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go"

freak the freak out

So, it's Thursday evening annnd I just got back from the gym. I had a really great time there today because I always seem to find someone I know. Yesterday, I saw my Kenny at the Y! I was coming out of the truck and I looked over and saw some boys chasing each other on the sidewalk. I instantly knew it was him. I screamed his name and after being confused and stunned for a few seconds, he realized whoI was and came running into my arms at a thousand miles an hour screaming "MISS GONZALEZ!!!". Oh if I could have died then I would have. I needed that so much. We walked into the Y together and he just talked to me about school and how it's not as "fun as when you were around". It was so nice to hear that from him. As I walked into the locker rooms his mom made sure to mention that this young man doesn't like teachers and that he loves me. He said to keep in mind how big of a compliment that was from him. That really meant the world to me and it just got me smiling. As I said, definitely something I needed especially this week. On the other hand, work has been good, and today after I got back home from work I saw this huge manila envelope on the table. My ASU diploma finally came in. Gosh, it was wonderful to actually be able to see it. Made me realize that App really did happen and that it really is something that no one can ever take away from me. I went off to tutor Glen in an upbeat mood and now I sit here ready to read some more Harry Potter and get ready for a busy day tomorrow.

Maybe one day I will visit the Jersey Shore...after mentally preparing myself for it with Kathryn :) Check out the coolest CD ever...BOONE SOON.

God bless moms.

To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch...
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Emerson.

pura vida.

I've been in such a good mood today, and this is one of my favorite pictures of John that I decided to begin my post with today. First and foremost:
I'm sorry Charlotte. I owe you an apology because honestly I felt a bit of...idk what the best word is...culture shock? I did, a bit of culture shock during these past snow days because being "snowed in" in Charlotte is completely different than being "snowed in" in Boone. I was expecting a lot more of a snow life than I guess I got. I just noticed that the city kinda just puts everything on hold and stays at home. I'm just a little used to not really caring about a few inches and managing despite. Nevertheless, I do realize that Boone is better equipped than Charlotte to "Survive" the day with a few inches. I guess I just also expected to feel as captivated with the scenery in Charlotte as I would feel up in the mountains. I'm sorry, I know that was unfair. I just don't have much of a memory of Charlotte with snow since it barely happens and I guess I just referred back to my memories of snow the past few years. I just have to know that it's different. Now that everyone is slowly coming out on the streets, and businesses are back up and kids are going back to school I have felt a lot more...motivated. Today I didn't do much except run into a hell of a lot of people in random places and have fun. I looked up a lot of information in regards to what I may wanna do these next few months, mapped out my life for the next year and just kinda got inspired by a lot of things. Who knows, but I'm not complaining. I'm sticking to my resolutions and I have my friends that will always redirect me if I try to run away from them. For now, I have a busy day tomorrow so I am going to shower (since I've been at the Y all day) and go to sleep with Harry.

I'll leave you with the prettiest things I've seen all day. This is for you, Natalie.

a cup of tea.

snow.

What a nice day. Full of snow, friends, wintry air, family, amazing movies/shows, reading, studying and delish food. I am sitting here now, about to watch the last of my new grey's season and sipping on some amazing tea while talking to Cassie. This is the life...

then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee

these are harder times.

I think i have erased this beginning sentence about 5 times already. I want to tell you guys that I went to celebration of Teddy's life yesterday to spend some time with the Royals and I also want to tell you that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I don't understand why good things really do happen to good people. I've realized that it is so true. I have realized also that well...we only do have one life and I feel like a lot of us are not living them up. I don't like that and in reality it kinda pisses me off that so many of us sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, burnt out, and feeling like we can just throw our hands up in the air like we just don't care. There is no throwing hands up in the air. There can't be. I have sat here time and time again mourning/celebrating the lost of a loved one too many times to really let myself quit or feel tired of something. I love my friends so much, and it was so wonderful to see so many good friends yesterday all being there for Teddy. It's funny how these things bring some of us together again. Not only were some of my friends physically there for me, but I know that many of you wonderful people in Boone kept checking up on me. (and reminding me that crying was ok, especially being surrounded by those who truly care) Thank you for that!

Now, I don't really want to talk any more about that. Today, my lovely little brothers decided that I needed to go to the gym instead of just running today. They think i'm stupid for running outside when there's a chance of snow. Meh. I can say though, that I will be achy all day tomorrow, that's for sure. Now, I'd keep talking and blogging but I have other important things to do. Such as daydream of going back to Boone, talking with great people on the phone, reading Harry Potter and sleeping in hopes of seeing some snow on the ground when I wake up even though I won't be looking outside to see 321. If any of you would like to donate money to a scholarship in Teddy's name please send them to the Providence High School Choral Boosters. And, as one of my favorite new teachers and best friend clearly pointed out to me today:

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart

How great thou art...

all you need is love.

I saw this earlier in the day and now that i'm reflecting on the day it seems very appropriate. I hardly complain about certain things out loud because I feel bad, or that I'll say something wrong, or just cause I'd rather hear about someone else's day and you know, forget my feelings...so to live a creative life...here you go:

quite the day.
i got up really early again, in reminiscing my teacher days, and went for a nice run. it was kinda funny to me how the roads had icy spots and the grass was frozen and i was still out there. running. i've really come around to enjoy running, it's good.
So most things in my life right now are obviously anything but normal. As a disclaimer to my previous post, I am happy, ut I also want you guys to know that I am missing teaching. Education in general. There isn't one day where I don't think of my kids, my future kids, my classes or stupid little teacher terms. I'm not just typing now to disclaim my previous post but I guess more so to put this on the table. It's no excuse, but those that know me well know that I'm not good with feelings. Yet, as two of you do know, it is something that I am currently working on. So in all honesty, I miss it. So much and I know I won't really say that out loud but I do. Today I saw my favorite student's parents ( i mean teachers don't have favorites...) and I realized how much I miss her, and them. I picked up Harry this evening and laid on the couch but I couldn't help but imagine myself sitting in my chair reading to my students. The way I would emphasis certain words, or the facial expressions I would make, the thinking out loud that I would do to get them thinking through a text talk, and merely the expressions that they would have on their own pretty, dirty, silly, annoying, exhausting, confused, soft, happy, innocent, excited little faces as I read each word. Yes I know there were days that they just really tired me out, but those moments didn't matter. Every single one of my students gave me something and I loved them all. They were definitely a handful at times, but I thanked them for those experiences that would make me a better teacher. Ha, I fell asleep on my couch at like 7:40, and didn't wake up til a bit ago. I miss sleeping cause I was so exhausted. I know if I was still there I'd still complain about being so tired and not getting enough sleep and having a tough job but deep down I adored it all. I'd rather have it and be tired than not have it at all. I know life isn't easy, but this sure as hell is hard to surpass. Ask questions if you have them, guys. Well, I think I just needed to let that out. I know I'll see them again soon, I just miss hearing Miss Gonzalez every 5 seconds.
Grudges are not fun. Forgiveness is not easy. But it's unhealthy to have grudges and a waste of time to not forgive. But it's nice to have some amazing friends to keep you in check.

But I'm still mad at Boone for not sending SOME of their snow down my way...


Miss you guys in Boone! I promise to make a trip down there asap.

and do a lot more than FEMA did

Hm.
So, I have become ever so inspired to do itty bitty things lately. (maybe because of the annual quotable calendar that Natalie gives me) but today, as I will again the first of each month, I really thought about what the quote for Jan said. (WTF, it's January?) Having read it, I realized that I need to really do the little things, I also realized what my new year's resolutions could become. So as many of you know, shut up Kathryn, I took out some post-its, pretty post-its, and made a list. I don't know why lists are bliss for me. I made a list of things to do, things that I will find HUGE pleasure in crossing off my list. I also found Harry, which I will begin to read again! This way I can finish 6 and finally read 7. Then I sat here, at my computer with the open window to the brisk winter air and realized that I am actually very happy. Confused as hell, of course, but happy. Had a delicious cup of coffee in my hand,a new wonderful mix CD from the bff, comfy sweatpants and a cherished tshirt on...I really didn't need anything else. I even had motivation. So needless to say, I had a pretty good day. I'm not going to have changed the world by the end of the night, but damn it, I did what I thought I needed to do and more importantly, wanted to do. After having talked it over with the essential people, I think I have figured out where and how I want to become involved again-this time, in Charlotte. I need to keep you on the edge of your seats for a minute though, sorry. I don't really aim to talk about specific details about my plans just yet, know that they are in the making. Sometimes I think that that's the fun part-the plotting. I won't sit here and say that I don't have worry and doubts every few seconds, I do have those, I have a million, but I know that it's not like me to let them eat me up. I can't. I know that, and thank YOU guys for not letting me forget that. I have rekindled many friendships, or have started to, and it kinda gets me excited to know what lies ahead, because even though I'm plotting away, I have no idea how the course could change. I wanted to take an artsy picture of my desk this morning but then I cam across this wonderful thing that a friend of mine shared with me. This may not look identical to what my desk looked like, but it's how I saw and felt my desk.


Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift- eleanor roosevelt

ignite the light and let it shine.

here we are. It's funny that we think that life is just about to begin when in reality it has never stopped going and being. So many wonderful and bittersweet things have happened thus far. Most importantly, I miss my babies like I've never imagined I would miss someone else's children; Student teaching has been the single best experience of my life. But that's for another post. Right now all i really want to do is share some pictures of these monumental few weeks. Naturally as I've mentioned, my kids come first. Here's the world's first glimpse on the internet of the best 3rd graders on the face of the Earth.


Aside from them, I graduated. I did it. Bachelor's degree in my back pocket. NBD. I still don't think it has sunken in, and it's just mind boggling to say I did it; I'd worked so hard for so long for this.


Thank you, Boone for snowing for me. I'd missed it so much.


I was blessed to have been able to see many wonderful people in these days that were so special. Not only did I see many amazing family members, but I was also lucky enough to be surrounded by so many friends doing wonderful things. Christmas may be over, but instead of concentrating on what you don't have or didn't get, please focus on what you do have. Some of us aren't that lucky. Miss you already, Mr. Royal.





Let's see where I wind up in the next few months, thanks to those of you that I know I could never get rid of. Especially when I need you the most.

Lets reflect on the past few weeks. They've been all over the place, they flew right by somehow that I feel almost robbed of Christmas and I know one can get caught up in the whole of it. I feel like as if I am constantly fighting against time-cursing it for not being long enough or too short-but always wishing it away anticipating Friday or 9:30. Ironic. Now that Dennis has left me too, well...I am going to try to accept it and find this change to be good. The journey.

Stick to your resolutions, people.