87 ajr 04

Damn. I haven't blogged in literally almost 6 months. Where did the time go? Things have actually been really amazing though so I think that's why I haven't had much time for blogging. This week has been kinda tough since November always brings such sad memories but today, despite the fact that it is Andrew's 7th year anniversary...well it brings new light to what I SHOULD be doing today. Not grieving but making the most out of life. I have so much to update you guys on but today's post should only be about carpe-ing the hell out of every diem.

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I've got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible.."

the edge of glory.

3rd grade was even amazing the second time around. Who knew it could even get better?

I am in a loss for words. I don't even know how to begin this post because so much has happened in May. My kids did such a great job with their EOG's and have honestly made me so proud. I've had a lot of fun with my friends lately poolside or just sitting and talking about life. Enjoyed my family life and trying to love the summer time again. I don't really want to talk about what the end of third grade this time around means to me because it's a lot more than I like to share. But I will say that the last month with my kids has been astonishing. I can't even describe what those kids have done. How much they have changed my life and how much I love them. I'm glad I could do to those kids what my third grade teacher could for me. As long as I can rap with my kids and have them say that they will never in their whole lives forget me...well, I think that is pretty "osom" as my little lady said to me.

I went to the Mexico vs. Cuba Gold Cup match the other night and that was fantastic as well! I LOVE CHICHARITO! The game was great to watch and I am so glad that many of my friends were following it along with me.

I am very curious as to what the future brings now that this school year has ended...but I have to remember that like my amazing ring that Kathryn gave me on the last day of school...I have to let some things go. Spread their wings, right?

Summer will be filled with plenty of wonderful things. Lately, I have been listening to the Lady Gaga CD (which is AMAZING), hanging out with some kindergartners, reading some great books, laying out, running and spending time with wonderful people. Oh and breaking fingers! I'm excited to see what summer has in store...a trip to Boone is in the near future.

"Luda! When I was 13, I had my first love, There was nobody that compared to my baby and nobody came between us or could ever come above She had me going crazy, oh, I was star-struck, she woke me up daily, don’t need no Starbucks. She made my heart pound, it skipped a beat when I see her in the street and at school on the playground but I really wanna see her on the weekend. She knows she got me dazing cause she was so amazing and now my heart is breaking but I just keep on saying..." - the best rap of them all

i don't just come back for the fun stuff.

so today pretty much rocked.

may has pretty much rocked.

Not only have I been starting to like the summer weather (sans thunderstorms-those are scary) I have also really just been really happy this month. Idk what it is really but it has been great. Lets see...my updates are usually about the same things: my kids, boone, friends and life decisions. This post is nothing different. I don't have much to say really, because I don't have

words that could convey exactly what I mean. (Thanks, Alan!)

So I went to Boone I think about 2 weeks ago to meet the Dean and a few scholarship sponsors for lunch. That was pretty darn cool in itself but being in Boone was not just beautiful and all...I saw SO SO SO many awesome people. I saw Brittany Burdine, Patrick Rust, Christopher Barbour, Aubrey VanGoethem, Corey Dodd, Kathryn Brown, Carla Banker, Sarah Carpenter, Laura Comisky, Kim Murphy, Tory Celements, Christopher Lawrence and Chaney Poston. Like I literally got to hang out with all those people. Talk about an awesome 48 hours. It was kinda sad though because I slept in Kathryn's room/my apartment for the last time ever. Unfortunately all of my roommates will be living in different places next year or graduating. It

was so much fun though!! Breakfasting, running into random hugs, getting naked, drinking on

the porch in a thunderstorm, and I mean...what is there not to love about going back up?..planning a trip again soon...

Ok on to the next thing...my class! Oh my goodness my babies will be taking the EOGs the next week and today I was lucky enough to go to a staff meeting and just sit there being trained for it. I am just so excited to be there with them. It is truly a blessing and it is always beyond

amazing to see them.

Here is my lovely Proctor's Guide and my new book that Valentina told me to read. (I guess I have to read an educational book too this summer...)

In other news...Lilly finally did her first communion this weekend! It was so nice and she had such a blast. It is fun watching that little lady grow up. I mean, does this not look like a

facebook profile pic in the making? SCARY. Anyway, I have also been hanging out in Charlotte with some awesome people. Kathryn is finally back in town and I think I am annoying her enough with making her see my face everyday...love that girl. Christine is in freaking Mexico but luckily got back tonight safe and sound. Katie and I have really made it a weekly thing to not only have Caribou but to run! How awesome? Seriously Katie, I am so glad you do this with me. Did I mention that our 5k went great?! Maybe minus the fact that I totally got a cramp, forgot my ipod and was just totally unprepared? It was still so awesome and I cannot wait to do my next one. #624- 00:29:38 was my time for the 5K! Katie and I also went out to eat with Betho for her birthday a month late but it was actually really fun. Makes me miss the days of DTN.

May I also just say that the St. Gabriel group is also effing amazing? I think I met some of my new best friends.

"Just as each of you has received grace, minister in the same way to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." -1 Peter 4:10

Determination

Man oh man, how time changes. The past week has been a lot of fun. Let me start off with mentioning the fact that St. Gabriel's is starting this new "youth group" at church. However, instead of it being for the youth per say, it is technically for young adults. People ranging from college age to the beginning of starting a family. I went to it a few weeks ago but had not really mentioned it to anybody because it was just starting and I didn't really know how I'd feel about it. I think that's because I usually compare things (yes, I know, you can't compare people or things but I still sometimes do it) and in this case I started comparing this new church group to CCM. Anyone that knows me knows that CCM was basically my lifeline at times throughout college. I met some amazing people that have changed my life and despite the fact that things are a bit different now, well I will never forget any of the kids at CCM or our adventures. They truly brought out my own faith. Having said that, I went into this new youth group with a sense of "this is not gonna be as awesome as CCM so it sucks" mentality but I think it actually has some potential. I need to have that chance to talk about my faith a bit more with people that actually care and want to talk about it. I have some great friends that I am sure I can mention some stuff to, but I just need that support group too at times. IN CHARLOTTE. Haha, besides Father Pat is the best person ever and if he personally asks me to come I can't say no. Anyway, all of you also know that I was very involved at school...and since apparently I can't keep my mouth shut (sorry but when they ask for group activities/ice breakers...well...LT would kill me if I didn't speak up) and so I am now leading certain group activities especially outreach ones for our community. How so? RUNNING 5K's! Yep, I have told everyone that they should run 5K's and do walks and such to raise money for wonderful organizations in Charlotte. Dance Marathon style almost. I am very excited.

Speaking of 5K's I have been training hardcore for it and I am loving the results thus far.It has been so much fun to run this much and to really stretch my personal best. I think I have gathered up some more people to run (and walk, right Kathryn?) which I am very excited about. What else do I get this passionate and excited about? oh right, of course..my kids. On Thursday of last week I decided to go see my babies during lunch. So I woke up early and was productive before I decided to take some Subway to my CT. Lunch was so much fun to be at again, and again to have that same rockstar sensation when all the 3rd graders in that cafeteria want to run up and hug you. During lunch my CT told me that the kids were going to have a Wax Museum the next day. Unfortunately she had to miss it so guess who basically subbed that morning? ME!! The kids were so excited and the best part was that all the parents were also thrilled that I would be there and not some random sub. Did I mention I had to be at the school at 6:15 again that morning?! I truly did miss that. I saw all the parents and had so many wonderful things said to me, but my kids were the icing on the cake. I got to meet Albert Einstein, Billy Graham, Coretta Scott King, Amelia Earnhardt, and Queen Elizabeth all in the span of an hour. It's nice when Albert Einstein, her fake mustache and her parents say that Albert Einstein considers me her real hero.

I could just stop right there and have that be an amazing day, right? Hellllll no. Why stop there when my day just kept getting better? This was only from 6-8:30. I had to run to Lilly's school at 9 to get to go to her poetry reading! It was so cool to be on the other side going to Lilly's school. Playing the part of a bystander and not the teacher or student. She is so talented and her poems were soooo precious. Stop there? Nope. That Friday kept getting better. After this I got Lilly out for early dismissal and headed off to Boone. Boone? Yep. Boone. I had to attend the RCOE scholarship ceremony again and boy does it feel amazing to have Dr. Jacobson still poke you in the rib and say, "Ivette Gonzalez...still staying out of trouble?". It was nice to see old familiar faces again and be in Boone, not to mention ASU again. After the ceremony I decided to surprise Kathryn in the apartment. I really wish I could do that again. I did a great job! Haha, couldn't really surprise Corey as much but def got to see him. Where? At the Shoppes on the Parkway, duh. Now, before the rest of you get mad that I didn't tell you that I was coming to Boone, I am sorry but I was literally only there for 4 hours and my mom and Lilly were with me. SORRY! I will be back in Boone next Tuesday and this time for more than even 24 hours! Wahoo!

So this post is getting extremely long so I will leave you with these pictures to sum up the rest of the week

Henna tattoos! This was so much fun. Started with, "Wanna go to South Boulevard?" and ended with " You have no choice. Turn around and take off your shirt." Isn't my bff a great henna artist? On the shoulder it says "determination" in arabic. Fitting. This was all after a full day of eating at Newks with Jack, and lounging around watching TV. Man, I'm so glad Kathryn is home.

Check out the new plate! The Lincoln keeps getting even more baller every day.

"no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt

dakota, i love you.

So...life has been very hectic lately. I don't really even know how to explain it all. It's already April!! To begin, I went up to Boone not too many weeks ago and as always, it was amazing. I had some great times with Kathryn and Corey as always. BB nights, what up! I had always wanted to leave a beer bottle right at the bottom of those stairs and I sure did just that. Anyway, I ate all my favorite things and got to hang out with some of my favorite people. The tweets from that night were pretty freaking awesome too. It was so nice to rekindle my friendship with my old roommates, Carla and Sarah. I do miss those girls so much. Anyway, back here in Charlotte I have been tutoring more than ever now and it is so exciting. I have wonderful kids and they just inspire me to do so much. Hard work...but it's so worth it. I have had a few setbacks lately in regards to things that I have literally no control over and all of you know how much I hate that. I think that lately though I have really been able to feel better about not knowing where I am heading. I wish with all my heart that I knew things would be ok...but I know that no one can tell me that. However, I've found ways of keeping myself busy and with short term goals at least. For instance, Showmars has been so much fun with Chris working there and Christine and Nick make it worth working there. I've learned so much more now after coming back from school and it's nice. Especially since now there is Yoforia right across the street! Aside from my Showmars and tutoring stuff going on, I have decided to sign up for my first 5K! I wanted to blog yesterday because I ran my best 4 mile yesterday and my best 3 mile today. It is so exhilarating! I cannot express how much I love running now. I was talking to Katie about it (I'm sure over some coffee or a soccer game), how I never really would have considered running to be a favorite anything for me, esp in high school but now that I don't have IM or any other kind of soccer running has become a great sport for me to stay active in. I have had my old shoes for such a long time and my knees progressively get worse so I decided that it was time to get new shoes...check these motherfuckers out!

Nice aren't they!? I am so excited. Oh and not only did I buy new shoes...my dad got us a new car. It's a Lincoln and it's apparently mine now. Yes, yes, I know what you are all thinking...what about Dakota? I am not even going to get started on how much I love Dakota because it literally gets me teary-eyed but I will say that it is in good hands. Dakota is now Chris' car. I couldn't have asked for a better owner and I am sure that as soon as this Lincoln has an App sticker on it, it will be fine. Still, I just need some time to get used to leaving Dakota. Boone this weekend and a busy week ahead...lets do this.

John 11:25-27

a home on the field.

I have finally found my home on the field. Metaphorically. I have obviously always considered Charlotte my home...I've never seen it as my field in which I could win though. My field was always Boone. ASU to be more precise. Charlotte my home, ASU my field. The book that I am currently reading is called A Home on the Field lent to me by Corey. It's title has always been appealing to me but it just kinda fit this way for me too. I get to go back to my field this weekend and I am very excited. I was rereading some of my previous posts and I forgot about my oldest blog...livejournal. So I decided to revisit that as well...those posts were the story of the best days of my life in Boone. Sure, I am still living some of the best days of my life now, but those were so nice and it's so obvious when you read them. If you want to check out 2009...please feel free to!
Anyway, the past few days have been great. I've sucked this lent thus far but it has been so hard. But I've kinda enjoyed it. I have had the best support group and honestly I feel like all my friendships have gotten so so so much stronger. For example, I hung out with Natalie, Kathryn and Christine so much this weekend doing petty little dumb things...but it was so worth it. Or like caribou with Katie these past 2 weeks...amazing. I am just excited to see everyone else this weekend. Life is coming back into place and my kids are still all are prevalent as ever. Especially my middle schoolers. And as a side note...Dr. Seus is the bomb.



Suddenly you're not playing dressup anymore...

turn away from sin.

Happy Ash Wednesday!!
So today marks the beginning of lent. I am very excited for this to start. Today was a pretty good day overall. I was able to run outside (you know how it feels when it's about to rain-windy, warm, cool, slightly dark and calm? ) right before it started raining and it felt wonderful. I hung around the house with mom until mass this afternoon and then we went shopping for Eli's birthday presents. I love and hate shopping for my brothers. I love that it means I can pick out their clothes but I hate deciding what to buy. Speaking of buying...mom and I were at Southpark and Borders so you can only imagine how tempting everything was for me to buy. Still, I remained strong! Only 39 more days to go...right? I also went to work and yes I went to work with ash on my forehead. I love to see other people coming in to eat with ash all over their forehead too! Catholics!! I wanted to take a picture right when I got it but that's when we went shopping and then after changing into my work clothes, forgetting it was on my forehead and walking in the rain, the ash kinda smeared and was not as noticeable. This is what was left. Sorry! You can still kinda see it.. While I was doing all that, Kathryn has still been living the life in New York. That sneaky little lady knows that one of my favorite artists is Jackson Pollock and guess what my she did? While at the Museum of Modern Arts check this out:
Anyway, it is time that I begin a new book, time to go to bed, feed Carlisle and time to do lenty stuff.

"In any endeavor, one simple truth is all you need: one day at at time"

i'm not your slave.

I apologize for the lack of posts. Nevertheless, here I am. So...biggest news of the week has been that I finally reading all 7 of Harry Potter's marvelous books. Let me just tell you how much I absolutely adore them all. I am kicking myself over and over for not having read them before but I will say that I am almost glad I waited till now to read them because I cannot wait for the Deathly Hallows part II to come out! After the epilogue I had no idea what to do with myself. I had always just gone to Barnes and Noble or Blackbear Books(support your local bookstores, please) to buy the next one after I had finished a book...now what the hell?! I tutored two of my kids today and I decided to ask them what I should read next. I have come up with quite a listof books to read. Please tell me if I should add one of your favorites!

New Books To Read:

• The Giver
• Water for Elephants
• Peter and the Starcatchers
• A Home on the Field
• Eat, Pray, Love
• GRE study books...hehe

Books To Reread:

• Twilight
• The Art of Possibility
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Ramona Books

Meanwhile, as I anxiously await my next book to crack open, Lilly and I have been reading

Sideway Stories from Wayside School. This book is probably my all time favorite and still makes me cry from laughing so much. Today we started the second part of the series Sideway School is Falling Down and it is so much fun. Anyway, enough talk about reading.

Here's a secret about me. I wait for no other week more anxiously than I do this week. It's the beginning of Lent tomorrow!!! I don't know what it is about the lenten season that makes me so happy but I cannot wait. I have decided...drumroll please...to give up buying anything for myself, going out to eat and facebook for lent. I am very happy about my decision thanks to some peptalks I got from Kathryn yesterday. I always start off this week with a bang so I did just that. I helped my poor Christine through the torment of getting her wisdom teeth out, I ra

n my fastest 5K, and I went on a shopping spree with Kathryn!!! I also worked with Chris and got Yoforia. What a perfect day. Kathryn is finally home for Spring Break so we decided to go out to NEWKs, Borders, Old Navy, Target, Ulta and to look at some new TOMS. It was so so so much fun. However, today she left for NY. That bitch. I was actually not too upset because guess what she did? That dumb girl wound up facebook messaging me and sending me pictures while on her flight. What a surprise!!!

Isn't this amazing?!

So...tomorrow I will go to mass and get some awesome ash smeared on my forehead. As a sidenote: don't make fun of all the Catholics with ash on their foreheads tomorrow, please!

40 days and 40 nights.

dream on

It's Monday morning. The weather outside is so spectacular that I am actually sitting on my back porch with a cup of delicious hazelnut coffee and this Mac in my Lap. This is complete bliss. Honestly this weekend has been kinda crazy that it's nice that I can literally just sit out here, blog and enjoy the wind. So lets see...nothing happened on Friday really except hanging out with Nick and Christine but Saturday was pretty fun. I had to work in the morning but right after that Christine and I went to On the Boarder for a super expensive but ridiculously fun lunch. Let me tell you, they keep serving beer in bigger cups. FYI. We talked about a lot of awesome things and just enjoyed each other's company. Yesterday, I ran 3 miles in my best time yet! Cassie had mentioned to me that she was doing the Cooper Bridge Run and it sounds so exciting but I don't know if I'm quite ready for that just yet. I do want to find a run that I am passionate about and I want to keep pushing myself. I've noticed that one of my favorite things to do is compete against myself. Not in a bad way, but always try to top myself off. It keeps me on my toes for new challenges and honestly, everything I've ever attempted to do and succeeded makes me feel great. This is why I am also very confused as to what to do for lent. WHAT SHOULD I GIVE UP?! Last year, a few of you will remember that I gave up caffeine, cussing and facebook. I gave up caffeine because it did not help with my dysautonomia at all. I gave up cussing cause I did it a hell of a lot. Facebook I just always give up because it is easy and acually a lot of fun. I always strive to give up something that I've noticed I do too much or for the wrong reasons. I want to give up meat, but I honestly don't really want to do that. I am totally for vegetarians and I envy them for what they do because it is a wonderful thing but I haven't felt the calling to become one or anything along those lines. I do eat tons of organic things as often as I can but maybe I can try, instead of give up, bring on a new habit? It takes 21 days to break a habit. Maybe I can start eating more vegetables because all of you know how horrible of a relationship I have with veggies. I love salads but there's just something about eating vegetables that I do not enjoy. I wish I could enjoy them more. I also thought about giving up texting but that's usually the only way I communicate with certain people and I don't wanna cut them out of my life for lent so that's not going to work either I don' think. A friend of mine was telling me that she's giving up complaining for lent. It sounds unrealistic but I seem to fancy the idea. Another idea I have is to not buy anything for myself all of lent. That means no shopping sprees at Target or anything. No new seasons or songs from itunes. No new running shorts or anything! Minus the essentials like shampoo or tampons. F'real. I also thought about not going out to eat, but then where would Showmars fall in that? Sometimes I work a full shift, and that's the only food around...would Caribou count? Yoforia certainly would... Then Eli's birthday is coming up, we always go out for his birthday. This is where all of you come in. This year I am asking for your help. Betty last year was the one that said that maybe cussing could be what I gave up and it was a great idea. You guys know me better than I like to admit. So please, tell me what you think!!

PS: Harry Potter has been amazing. I am half way done with the last book!!!

Bandaids.

So, Cassie, I stole this quote off your blog for 3 reasons. 1- I always have loved Marcus Aurelius (no one can say that his name is not super fun to say), 2- There are many things that I've realized the entire world takes for granted, sometimes the ultra simple things and 3- because it's wonderful as are you!

After having been nudged by someone to post on my blog...I guess today is the perfect day to do so. You know that dream when like you want to be a famous singer,athlete or person and you always envision yourself coming out on stage or the field or onto the street and having everyone so excited to see you and want to hug you and love you? I've realized that I never have to be famous. I have felt like a rockstar so many times before and tonight just made me realizethat I have actually felt that way before. I know that as you're reading this you're already thinking that this idea must have been brought up thanks to my kids. You're right. Tonight was multicultural night at Matthews Elementary and despite the fact that only one of my students was performing, I pretty much knew I was going to be there. One of my girls from India was doing this traditional Indian dance and let me just tell you...I was so proud. She came dressed in her amazing traditional dress and jewelry and even though she was nervous she hit it out of the park. The dance was fabulous!!!! I actually texted Kathryn a bit ago making sure that I was not crazy because I honestly felt like my child was up there. I was a happy beaming parent. The best part was that after her performance 3 more of my students who were there each individually went up to her to tell her how great of a job she did. I couldn't believe how proud they were of her and how impressed they were. It's so funny to me how they each care so much about each other. I never really thought about it, but honestly when you are part of a class...you feel this camaraderie towards one another. Hell, we all become this huge giant family. (MISS YOU CASSIE!!!) I really think it's beautiful how each of them is going to remember that forever. It was a beautiful thing to see. An excellent poster-boy for diversity and equality among elementary students. None of them cared that they were all a different race, that some had glasses and that one of them had red hair. Didn't even seem to phase them, all that did phase them was how proud they were of their fellow classmate. Gah. Ok, sorry I get carriedaway on certain topics. IE: education, diversity, recycling and heath. So yeah tonight was nice. Check out my name in Japanese!

Awesome, huh? Here's an update on my life as of now and the important things coming up ahead: Katie gets to beast her half marathon in EFFINGDISNEYWORLD this weekend, Kathryn is coming home next weekend, I see my kids next week as well, Chris has started working at Showmars now, I am officially tutoring 2 middle schoolers now and 4th graders, I'm looking into 5K runs in Charlotte to train for, and I cannot wait for an amazing summer in Boone. Life hasn't been perfect, or as close to what I had planned but hey, it's going. I do have a nasty giant blister on my big toe but hey, just a battle scar.

Enjoy the present- inspired by Corey Dodd.

P.Y.T

What a nice weekend. Like I said before, it was so nice to see my babies. But the weather has really put me in such a good mood. Luckily I enjoyed a wonderful Valentine's day with a number of important people that I absolutely love. Not only did I do that but I really realized how many people I did love. I also thought more about what things I love. Here are some things that I love:

1.Books, Movies and Music

2. Mountains

3. ASU/ School (and everything that comes with it-the office supplies, teachers, students and yes even tests and hw)

4. Running

5. My family

6. My friends

7. Pictures

8. Dancing

9. Gatorade

10. Children

Now, remember, this is completely broad and short. Yet these things are the first 10 that popped in my head. Such happy things! I could also say things like coffee, Lady GaGa, saying goodnight, and service work but then I would totally keep naming things forever ever. There are many things that make me happy and many people that I love. That's what Valentine's day really is, right? Or is it getting pulled over by cops? MacBooks? BBQ pizza? Either way, everthing that came with it was perfect. Sprinkled with wonderful phone calls as well!

I must give amazing photo credits to Cassie for this awesome picture. I was looking through her blog and was very touched by this. It kinda summed up my day Sunday as I was just taking a walk in such wonderful weather.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

Colossus. Marooned.

I am so sorry. Life has been a bit on the heavy and straightforward side lately and I have not really had time to think clearly. I usually do not blog unless I am feeling very motivated, happy or just simply inspired. For some reason that had not been happening lately. I went to Boone a few weekends ago and a good friend of mine told me that I need to update my blog and that I don't necessarily have to solely do it when I'm "happy". I think that recently with certain people I have been a lot more open and have exposed a lot of my feelings which I know is something that I frequently talk about because I need to tell myself when I do it--honestly I really like it, I think. Anyway, my weekend trip to Boone was such a spoonful of sugar for my life. Not only was the trip itself worth it, but the Starbucks and Run for Your Life trip with Katie in the beautiful weather before it was wonderful. I am kinda excited for spring. I am very upset that this winter hasn't been much of a winter really, but with my favorite season being fall...spring is a very close second. I love the smell of spring sports, the perfect breeze along with the excitement of brewing up fun summer plans, seeing nature in bloom and some pretty important days.

I don't really want to get into detail about the tough decisions and obstacles that January and February have already brought but I do want to talk about the silver linings. Boone like I said was wonderful. Seeing so many of my good friends and my best friends all in a matter of a few hours is always unbeatable. I got my favorite Boone foods, Boone activities and Boone weather all in one trip. Lunch and dinner with Corey and Kathryn (thank you so much for keeping me in line, you two), Hookah, Beer Pong and games with everyone, girl talk with Kim and a wonderful walk and breakfast with Cassie and Maya. Bliss.

Not too long ago, Nick turned 24 and we all went to the bowling alley to celebrate after work. It was awesome, who doesn't drink and enjoy a good extreme bowling night? What my favorite part about that was seeing one of my 3rd graders at the bowling alley. I honestly miss those kids like no other and I am assuming that things really do happen for a reason because after that I kept seeing either my CT or more of my students around town. After having enough of these coincidences my CT decided to just make me come to the Valentine's Day party that my kids were having. Needless to say I was jumping off the walls ecstatic to see them, I made them goodie bags and was ready to be tackled to the ground again. I saw them today and it just gave me so much more energy to keep going. Oh boy. I'm not even talking about being happy because of what I got for Valentine's Day, it's the things that these kids say and do that make me smile more than I thought I possibly could. I honestly love those kids and miss them so much. I know it sounds lame and weird but it's totally true. Like Chris had said, I guess some kids were bound to have crushes on you and want to know all about your life but I never thought I'd hear one of them tell me that they wish they were my kids. After much chocolate, "i love you's", hugs, Charlie Brown, hot potato, and musical chairs I had to say see you later again. Just please check out all the things I got today (best valentine's day ever):

You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own...

napolean and appendicitis. (fake, appendicitis)

Well hot damn. This week has been iinnnnsaaannneee. Nevertheless, the weekend was amazing.

Friday I didn't do much. Yesterday I hung out with Christine literally ALL day. It was fantastic. We pulled off some of the craziness that I never thought would be possible. We are hilarious. Not only did we have smoothies, nasty unhealthy food, got molested and got in some trouble but actually worked a bit at at the 'mars too. I forgot how awesome we are.
Don't worry, America, we got new shirts at Showmars and they actually look nice! ( I miss how tan we were here) Oh, and this is definitely our friendship in a nutshell.Today, I got to hang out with one of the coolest people on the face of the Earth. I was so excited yesterday when she texted me and said she would come home today just cause. I am so glad she did that. Not only did we have our usual lunch at Newks but we also got that much needed time to be. I got the 1st season of Grey's from Blockbuster since it's closing (so go buy stuff! it's cheap!) and about 30ish books from the Browns. Libby was going to donate all these books to Goodwill when Kathryn decided it would be better to donate them to the classroom that I one day will have! I love them. I also swam for a full like 30 minutes at the Y today and let me just tell you how much it sucked. I forgot how much of a workout swimming was.

After this week of inconsistencies, lack of motivation and fun....well this weekend pulled me right out of there. The more I hung out with Christine and Kathryn the more I realized that what I needed was to just be with my friends. Despite the fact that Kathryn had been texting me non-stop as well as Corey from Boone, I just need that time to physically hang out. For them to give me huge hugs and make me laugh because they know I am awesome at rapping and being a smartass. This is why I am going to try to go to Boone this weekend.

THANKS COREY!! :)

I don't know what would have happened without Christine and Kathryn this weekend but I know that my spirits are definitely higher. Thank you, guys. Here's to a new week that will be the last full one of January. I love inspiration.

PS: I AM ALMOST DONE WITH 'ARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!!

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go"

freak the freak out

So, it's Thursday evening annnd I just got back from the gym. I had a really great time there today because I always seem to find someone I know. Yesterday, I saw my Kenny at the Y! I was coming out of the truck and I looked over and saw some boys chasing each other on the sidewalk. I instantly knew it was him. I screamed his name and after being confused and stunned for a few seconds, he realized whoI was and came running into my arms at a thousand miles an hour screaming "MISS GONZALEZ!!!". Oh if I could have died then I would have. I needed that so much. We walked into the Y together and he just talked to me about school and how it's not as "fun as when you were around". It was so nice to hear that from him. As I walked into the locker rooms his mom made sure to mention that this young man doesn't like teachers and that he loves me. He said to keep in mind how big of a compliment that was from him. That really meant the world to me and it just got me smiling. As I said, definitely something I needed especially this week. On the other hand, work has been good, and today after I got back home from work I saw this huge manila envelope on the table. My ASU diploma finally came in. Gosh, it was wonderful to actually be able to see it. Made me realize that App really did happen and that it really is something that no one can ever take away from me. I went off to tutor Glen in an upbeat mood and now I sit here ready to read some more Harry Potter and get ready for a busy day tomorrow.

Maybe one day I will visit the Jersey Shore...after mentally preparing myself for it with Kathryn :) Check out the coolest CD ever...BOONE SOON.

God bless moms.

To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch...
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Emerson.

pura vida.

I've been in such a good mood today, and this is one of my favorite pictures of John that I decided to begin my post with today. First and foremost:
I'm sorry Charlotte. I owe you an apology because honestly I felt a bit of...idk what the best word is...culture shock? I did, a bit of culture shock during these past snow days because being "snowed in" in Charlotte is completely different than being "snowed in" in Boone. I was expecting a lot more of a snow life than I guess I got. I just noticed that the city kinda just puts everything on hold and stays at home. I'm just a little used to not really caring about a few inches and managing despite. Nevertheless, I do realize that Boone is better equipped than Charlotte to "Survive" the day with a few inches. I guess I just also expected to feel as captivated with the scenery in Charlotte as I would feel up in the mountains. I'm sorry, I know that was unfair. I just don't have much of a memory of Charlotte with snow since it barely happens and I guess I just referred back to my memories of snow the past few years. I just have to know that it's different. Now that everyone is slowly coming out on the streets, and businesses are back up and kids are going back to school I have felt a lot more...motivated. Today I didn't do much except run into a hell of a lot of people in random places and have fun. I looked up a lot of information in regards to what I may wanna do these next few months, mapped out my life for the next year and just kinda got inspired by a lot of things. Who knows, but I'm not complaining. I'm sticking to my resolutions and I have my friends that will always redirect me if I try to run away from them. For now, I have a busy day tomorrow so I am going to shower (since I've been at the Y all day) and go to sleep with Harry.

I'll leave you with the prettiest things I've seen all day. This is for you, Natalie.

a cup of tea.

snow.

What a nice day. Full of snow, friends, wintry air, family, amazing movies/shows, reading, studying and delish food. I am sitting here now, about to watch the last of my new grey's season and sipping on some amazing tea while talking to Cassie. This is the life...

then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee

these are harder times.

I think i have erased this beginning sentence about 5 times already. I want to tell you guys that I went to celebration of Teddy's life yesterday to spend some time with the Royals and I also want to tell you that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I don't understand why good things really do happen to good people. I've realized that it is so true. I have realized also that well...we only do have one life and I feel like a lot of us are not living them up. I don't like that and in reality it kinda pisses me off that so many of us sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, burnt out, and feeling like we can just throw our hands up in the air like we just don't care. There is no throwing hands up in the air. There can't be. I have sat here time and time again mourning/celebrating the lost of a loved one too many times to really let myself quit or feel tired of something. I love my friends so much, and it was so wonderful to see so many good friends yesterday all being there for Teddy. It's funny how these things bring some of us together again. Not only were some of my friends physically there for me, but I know that many of you wonderful people in Boone kept checking up on me. (and reminding me that crying was ok, especially being surrounded by those who truly care) Thank you for that!

Now, I don't really want to talk any more about that. Today, my lovely little brothers decided that I needed to go to the gym instead of just running today. They think i'm stupid for running outside when there's a chance of snow. Meh. I can say though, that I will be achy all day tomorrow, that's for sure. Now, I'd keep talking and blogging but I have other important things to do. Such as daydream of going back to Boone, talking with great people on the phone, reading Harry Potter and sleeping in hopes of seeing some snow on the ground when I wake up even though I won't be looking outside to see 321. If any of you would like to donate money to a scholarship in Teddy's name please send them to the Providence High School Choral Boosters. And, as one of my favorite new teachers and best friend clearly pointed out to me today:

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart

How great thou art...

all you need is love.

I saw this earlier in the day and now that i'm reflecting on the day it seems very appropriate. I hardly complain about certain things out loud because I feel bad, or that I'll say something wrong, or just cause I'd rather hear about someone else's day and you know, forget my feelings...so to live a creative life...here you go:

quite the day.
i got up really early again, in reminiscing my teacher days, and went for a nice run. it was kinda funny to me how the roads had icy spots and the grass was frozen and i was still out there. running. i've really come around to enjoy running, it's good.
So most things in my life right now are obviously anything but normal. As a disclaimer to my previous post, I am happy, ut I also want you guys to know that I am missing teaching. Education in general. There isn't one day where I don't think of my kids, my future kids, my classes or stupid little teacher terms. I'm not just typing now to disclaim my previous post but I guess more so to put this on the table. It's no excuse, but those that know me well know that I'm not good with feelings. Yet, as two of you do know, it is something that I am currently working on. So in all honesty, I miss it. So much and I know I won't really say that out loud but I do. Today I saw my favorite student's parents ( i mean teachers don't have favorites...) and I realized how much I miss her, and them. I picked up Harry this evening and laid on the couch but I couldn't help but imagine myself sitting in my chair reading to my students. The way I would emphasis certain words, or the facial expressions I would make, the thinking out loud that I would do to get them thinking through a text talk, and merely the expressions that they would have on their own pretty, dirty, silly, annoying, exhausting, confused, soft, happy, innocent, excited little faces as I read each word. Yes I know there were days that they just really tired me out, but those moments didn't matter. Every single one of my students gave me something and I loved them all. They were definitely a handful at times, but I thanked them for those experiences that would make me a better teacher. Ha, I fell asleep on my couch at like 7:40, and didn't wake up til a bit ago. I miss sleeping cause I was so exhausted. I know if I was still there I'd still complain about being so tired and not getting enough sleep and having a tough job but deep down I adored it all. I'd rather have it and be tired than not have it at all. I know life isn't easy, but this sure as hell is hard to surpass. Ask questions if you have them, guys. Well, I think I just needed to let that out. I know I'll see them again soon, I just miss hearing Miss Gonzalez every 5 seconds.
Grudges are not fun. Forgiveness is not easy. But it's unhealthy to have grudges and a waste of time to not forgive. But it's nice to have some amazing friends to keep you in check.

But I'm still mad at Boone for not sending SOME of their snow down my way...


Miss you guys in Boone! I promise to make a trip down there asap.

and do a lot more than FEMA did

Hm.
So, I have become ever so inspired to do itty bitty things lately. (maybe because of the annual quotable calendar that Natalie gives me) but today, as I will again the first of each month, I really thought about what the quote for Jan said. (WTF, it's January?) Having read it, I realized that I need to really do the little things, I also realized what my new year's resolutions could become. So as many of you know, shut up Kathryn, I took out some post-its, pretty post-its, and made a list. I don't know why lists are bliss for me. I made a list of things to do, things that I will find HUGE pleasure in crossing off my list. I also found Harry, which I will begin to read again! This way I can finish 6 and finally read 7. Then I sat here, at my computer with the open window to the brisk winter air and realized that I am actually very happy. Confused as hell, of course, but happy. Had a delicious cup of coffee in my hand,a new wonderful mix CD from the bff, comfy sweatpants and a cherished tshirt on...I really didn't need anything else. I even had motivation. So needless to say, I had a pretty good day. I'm not going to have changed the world by the end of the night, but damn it, I did what I thought I needed to do and more importantly, wanted to do. After having talked it over with the essential people, I think I have figured out where and how I want to become involved again-this time, in Charlotte. I need to keep you on the edge of your seats for a minute though, sorry. I don't really aim to talk about specific details about my plans just yet, know that they are in the making. Sometimes I think that that's the fun part-the plotting. I won't sit here and say that I don't have worry and doubts every few seconds, I do have those, I have a million, but I know that it's not like me to let them eat me up. I can't. I know that, and thank YOU guys for not letting me forget that. I have rekindled many friendships, or have started to, and it kinda gets me excited to know what lies ahead, because even though I'm plotting away, I have no idea how the course could change. I wanted to take an artsy picture of my desk this morning but then I cam across this wonderful thing that a friend of mine shared with me. This may not look identical to what my desk looked like, but it's how I saw and felt my desk.


Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift- eleanor roosevelt

ignite the light and let it shine.

here we are. It's funny that we think that life is just about to begin when in reality it has never stopped going and being. So many wonderful and bittersweet things have happened thus far. Most importantly, I miss my babies like I've never imagined I would miss someone else's children; Student teaching has been the single best experience of my life. But that's for another post. Right now all i really want to do is share some pictures of these monumental few weeks. Naturally as I've mentioned, my kids come first. Here's the world's first glimpse on the internet of the best 3rd graders on the face of the Earth.


Aside from them, I graduated. I did it. Bachelor's degree in my back pocket. NBD. I still don't think it has sunken in, and it's just mind boggling to say I did it; I'd worked so hard for so long for this.


Thank you, Boone for snowing for me. I'd missed it so much.


I was blessed to have been able to see many wonderful people in these days that were so special. Not only did I see many amazing family members, but I was also lucky enough to be surrounded by so many friends doing wonderful things. Christmas may be over, but instead of concentrating on what you don't have or didn't get, please focus on what you do have. Some of us aren't that lucky. Miss you already, Mr. Royal.





Let's see where I wind up in the next few months, thanks to those of you that I know I could never get rid of. Especially when I need you the most.

Lets reflect on the past few weeks. They've been all over the place, they flew right by somehow that I feel almost robbed of Christmas and I know one can get caught up in the whole of it. I feel like as if I am constantly fighting against time-cursing it for not being long enough or too short-but always wishing it away anticipating Friday or 9:30. Ironic. Now that Dennis has left me too, well...I am going to try to accept it and find this change to be good. The journey.

Stick to your resolutions, people.