then sings my soul, my saviour God to thee

these are harder times.

I think i have erased this beginning sentence about 5 times already. I want to tell you guys that I went to celebration of Teddy's life yesterday to spend some time with the Royals and I also want to tell you that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I don't understand why good things really do happen to good people. I've realized that it is so true. I have realized also that well...we only do have one life and I feel like a lot of us are not living them up. I don't like that and in reality it kinda pisses me off that so many of us sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, burnt out, and feeling like we can just throw our hands up in the air like we just don't care. There is no throwing hands up in the air. There can't be. I have sat here time and time again mourning/celebrating the lost of a loved one too many times to really let myself quit or feel tired of something. I love my friends so much, and it was so wonderful to see so many good friends yesterday all being there for Teddy. It's funny how these things bring some of us together again. Not only were some of my friends physically there for me, but I know that many of you wonderful people in Boone kept checking up on me. (and reminding me that crying was ok, especially being surrounded by those who truly care) Thank you for that!

Now, I don't really want to talk any more about that. Today, my lovely little brothers decided that I needed to go to the gym instead of just running today. They think i'm stupid for running outside when there's a chance of snow. Meh. I can say though, that I will be achy all day tomorrow, that's for sure. Now, I'd keep talking and blogging but I have other important things to do. Such as daydream of going back to Boone, talking with great people on the phone, reading Harry Potter and sleeping in hopes of seeing some snow on the ground when I wake up even though I won't be looking outside to see 321. If any of you would like to donate money to a scholarship in Teddy's name please send them to the Providence High School Choral Boosters. And, as one of my favorite new teachers and best friend clearly pointed out to me today:

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart

How great thou art...